as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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