So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
