Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
