I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
