It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize