Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
