upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
