Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
COCAINE IS GR8
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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