Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
