i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
