wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my being single is dangerous.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
