We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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