im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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