The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
