My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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