we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
