I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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