Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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