Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
