roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
