hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
