I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
