her vagine was all disorganized.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
