Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
