We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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