There is no way he is gay with that hair.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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