My first STD was from a foam party
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize