I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Found your dick twin last night
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
