i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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