I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
