A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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