Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize