Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
