Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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