oh god the rape fog is back!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
