***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
