This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
