she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Randomize
