Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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