She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
