I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
