id be glad to
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
