I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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