oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize