So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
