Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i out mim tonsoeep
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