when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just cropdusted the office
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
