i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
