Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
