i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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