I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
