I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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