I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
