Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
