he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
