Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
