She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He passed out mid-signature
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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